Molly answers questions about R.J. for us

Hello Angia,

It's very good to hear from you!

Thank you for your prayers, they mean more than you could ever know down here, where long days and continuously frustrations seem to be the norm. I really appreciate your support, and encouragement, it goes a long way!

Ronaldo was sad with Georgy leaving. He understood it very well though, and I am glad that Georgy's parents took time to sit down with him and explain that the boys relationship will continue, that this was not the end. Ronaldo seemed to really take heart with this, and he even talks about it now, "When I go home with my new mom and dad, I'm going to see Georgy too!"

You couldn't have done better with you package for RJ. He LOVED IT!!! LOVED IT!!! I don't recall ever seeing a basketball, with Ronaldo's things. So I am guessing that Cathy (Georgy’s adoptive mom) must have given it straight to the kids. I knew that she had said she put a basketball out in the yard, I guess the full meaning just didn't sink in. THANK YOU from all of the, they have been using in continuously! RJ shared the MONSTER bag of candy you sent with everyone else, and saved some also for himself. He was very good about being fair with everyone. Most of the stuff you send does not go into safe keeping for RJ. I hope that you are okay with this. He is pretty good about keeping track of his stuff. So I will let him keep one item that you send, then if it gets broken or lost, he takes another, then another, etc. The clothing I was not sure about, if it goes into the general pile, then it will be worn out and stained within 2 months. The camera was a HUGE HIT! Its funny, because all I had to do was show him how to use it one time, and BAM! he was off and taking shots, he did very very well with it. I will let you know when your Birthday Pkg arrives at GLA. Customs in Haiti takes from 2 days to a month, with no real rhyme or reason.

Your package has not yet arrived for Ronaldo’s birthday, but that is okay; no, he does not know the day of his birth, when it comes we will celebrate and that will be good enough for him. Plus since you just sent the package with Kuhn’s it will be nice to space the gifts out a bit. Each month we have a celebration for all the kids born in that month. We actually just had the November birthday party TODAY! Ronaldo had a blast! There were 18 children there. Ronaldo got to get dressed up in his “church clothes” and drove in the car to the main house where the party was held on the upper balcony, with lots of toys, cake, juice, and good times.

Most things Ronaldo get to use on a regular basis, I don’t save much away. Sometimes if a child gets a lot of things all at once, I will let them pick one thing each week to keep with them. So say you send Ronaldo a ball, a book, a car, candy, and stickers, then each week he will get to pick one more thing to keep with him so that by the end of 4 weeks he has them all anyways. But it helps to keep all the rest of the kids off of him, and he doesn’t have to fight to hold on to things if he has less. If he plays with something for a week just himself, then by the next week when he has something else new to play with, he is not as crushed or hurt if the toy breaks or is fought over by the other kids to play with. It is funny that you mention a book, because that is exactly what came to mind when you asked what RJ might like for Christmas, I think he would really enjoy a book, pictures are great of course, and simple English, maybe either a 1st or 2nd grade reader level. Joyce just asked me tonight for a picture dictionary for the kids in her English class and I told her I only had a British English one with French as well in it, so it is more confusing to them than not having none at all. She is a lending library for the kids. They are lent out a book and must take care of it and return it back to her after a set time (the weekend, two days, a week, etc) most of the kids are very good about this, they have learned if they aren’t responsible than they won’t be lent another book, and they are quite the entertainment here! Our kids LOVE THEM! Strange :). Something else I think that RJ might like would be along the idea of building… a lego set, building logs, or one of those little toy cars you take apart and put together again. He’s a very curious sort, and he does love to build. Just an idea to put out there.

Very nice of you to offer to send candy. I would just sent for RJ. Most adoptive parents bring candy down for all the kids to have when they come. So the kids get a sweet treat every week almost. This is good, if you were to send for all the kids, it would only add weight that is precious for the other goods you are trying to get here for you son. He does enjoy it though when you send him a treat :) it’s a nice touch, even a small pack of tic-tacs makes his day :) .

We have a CD player, VCR, and DVD player at the toddler house in the kids school room. They don’t watch or listen to things very often, but when they do they seem to enjoy it, and its easily set up for them to do so. John just brought back the newest Veggie Tales music sing along, which the kids laughed over so hard! They thought it was hilarious! They love videos, and have seen all that we have countless times, so, I guess the answer is yes, if you want to send something like that, they would all enjoy it, many times over.

Ronaldo’s friend Patrick, the oldest boy here at the toddler house, has a personal CD player. This is shares often with RJ under supervision. It is a nice idea for Ronaldo and his musical interest to get him player, but I think in the long run it would only create heart ache for him. The other children would fight for it, and since he can’t guard it all the time, it is likely that it would get into a younger child’s hands and be broken, and then of course RJ would be more hurt than if he had not had one in the first place. Patrick however lets him use his, and then also takes care of it and keeps it out of reach from the other children, since he values it very much. If you wanted to send RJ a cd, then he would be able to listen to it on Patrick’s player, and Patrick would also take care of it.

Ronaldo was quite pleased to hear that you were thinking and praying for him. He gets that thoughtful sort of happy grin on his face, and just kind of travels off somewhere else in his head. He prays for you as well. And I know he is anxious to get home to you, but also a bit nervous about the time to come, so maybe this extended wait in IBESR is God’s timing in helping to prepare RJ for the actual day that he gets on that plane :).

I did ask him about his name. He likes both RJ and Ronaldo, he has no real preference. I think it is wise to keep Ronaldo as his formal name. So often some of the kids that are adopted when they are older, want to change their name, their life, everything, and forget all that happened in Haiti, but then a few years down the road, they have a hard time with the cut off, the disconnection and seem to feel a bit lost in it. I think that it will be GREAT for Ronaldo to still have his name and still have that connection with his past, even if everything around him is not. I think you guys have done the right thing, giving him a nickname to feel new and excited about for his new life, but keeping his Haitian name so he has that part of his past. Nice choice!

Well Angie, I will let you go. Thank you for all your encouraging words. It really means a lot. Some days, as with every job and everyone in the world I am sure, everything just seems to be a fire to put out or a problem to deal with, and those days can wear you right down, but a kind encouragement from someone such as yourself, puts a little spring back in my step. I have been sick, and am still fighting to get healthy, but that shouldn’t be long now. I can tell my energy level is climbing again, praise the Lord! Thanks for all your prayers for RJ and the rest here.

God bless you!!! I can’t wait to one day meet you!!!

Kisses from RJ!

Have a great afternoon,
Molly