How do we deal with the waiting?

In response to a message posted on the Haitian-adoption online discussion group in which I participate, I wrote the following regarding the LONG wait that Haitian adoption involves:

We picked Haiti for our second adoption because we knew the process was so much FASTER and MORE CERTAIN than the U.S. foster-adopt process we tried to pursue. We adopted our first son, Charlie, from Haiti, at age 2.5 years, with a timeline as follows:
-- Dossier to Haiti: 09/01/03
-- Referral: 09/29/03
-- 2nd Legal: 12/30/03
-- MAJOR POLITICAL UNREST; HAITIAN PRESIDENT OVERTHROWN;
-- MANY DELAYS!
-- Travel to Haiti: 05/27/04
-- Home from Haiti: 06/04/04

In April 2005, we learned of a 6-year-old Haitian boy in Florida foster care waiting to be adopted. We were in contact with the social worker, who urged us to get a homestudy submitted within two weeks because decisions were about to be made. We did as we were asked. After being in contact weekly with the Florida social worker for several months, then realizing we were being led along, and after inquiring about 4-5 more boys in foster care in various states, all age 5 or older, we had gotten absolutely NOWHERE by mid-October. And we could tell it would be a mighty long wait with the very real possibility of NO CHILD at the end of the process. TALK ABOUT A BLACK HOLE!!! (By the way, 20 months later, that Florida-born Haitian boy is still not placed with an adoptive family.)

At that point, we gave up on U.S. foster care adoption, and decided -- based on our experience -- that Haiti was a QUICK and SURE ENDEAVOR which we were glad to pursue! Our timeline for this second adoption of 7-year-old R.J. goes like this:
-- Dossier to Haiti: 02/25/06
-- Referral: 04/07/06
-- Entered IBESR: 05/16/06 File #13480
-- Exited IBESR: 12/01/06

We are so pleased with the marvelous care that our son is receiving at his orphanage! Through correspondence we have had with the orphanage staff, we know our boy NEEDS the transition time between life with his birthfamily and life with us, his forever family, because the two lives are so drastically different! Meanwhile, he is loved, well fed, well clothed, healthy, getting lots of acculturation experiences (decorating Easter eggs, celebrating birthdays, learning Christmas carols, getting to eat new foods like pizza and hot dogs, etc.), and he is learning to read and write in English. Life at the orphanage is a HUGE step up (standard-of-living-wise) from the life he had before the orphanage, even though he was wonderfully loved by his birthfamily. And, because we get updates and photos each month from the orphanage, we have been calm and peaceful throughout the entire process, despite the waiting.

Sure we would love to have him home now, but we believe the good Lord knows when R.J. will be ready, and we're happy to wait until that time. (Besides, if we aren't willing to wait on these kids, what would become of them, anyway?!) We know from our first adoption that, once you get the child home, the anxiety of waiting disappears and it is honestly hard to remember that it was once so excruciatingly difficult. REALLY! This trial of waiting seems so minor in comparison to the joys and adventures we will have after our boy is home!

I would adopt from Haiti again and again and again (but we'll probably stop at 3, maybe 4). And I recommend Haitian adoption to everyone I know, if they give me a chance. We love the people, the culture, the language, the landscape, the short distance from here to there, ... everything about it! And, as my uncle once said, "a couple tens of thousands of dollars [less than a new car or a year of tuition at the college where I teach] isn't much to REDEEM A LIFE, now is it??!!"

Sincerely,
Angie